Ask the Dating Analyst
Wanted: Love and a Good Realtor
Profile: Jeff, Age 50
If we live in different areas, please read the ENTIRE profile... because geography is something I WILL CHANGE FOR THE RIGHT WOMAN! (My address is not as important to me as is meeting my life partner!)
I enjoy learning & growing... which always enhances our celebration of life. Dancing, being in nature, daily laughter, cooking (ESPECIALLY cooking WITH my partner), cuddling, relaxed meals with easy conversation, GOOD COMMUNICATION, small dinner parties, picnics, relaxed bicycle rides, travel, playing music, meditation, playfulness, romance, & more are some of the ways I celebrate life.
Sometimes, when I look at my partner... & feel so much love for her, I just have to kiss her! YES!... even in public! (Hey, when I have to kiss her... I HAVE to kiss her!)
Here's one possible scenario...
After our first few emails... we talk on the phone.
After a few conversations, if we BOTH want to meet, I'd come to wherever you are.
If we BOTH feel a "chemistry"... & REALLY enjoy being together... I'll visit often.
After many visits (as many as needed), we'll know if we want to go to the next level... or just enjoy a friendships only.
If we BOTH want to go to the next level (an Exclusive Relationship)... I'll relocate to your city immediately (as soon as my home sells!)
First Date
We take a relaxed drive through the countryside looking for a quiet place to stop & enjoy the natural beauty all around us. The hills are green & lush... & the water beckons us to stop and enjoy it's lapping waves.
We stop & walk a bit until we are overcome by the majestic beauty all around us.
It is here that we picnic.
The meal is delicious... the fruit is sweet... the wine is mellow... and we are enjoying each other's company.
We are in the moment. Time seems to flow effortlessly as we talk & laugh together.
We are in harmony with the world and with each other.
The day keeps getting better & better.
Finally, upon getting back into the car to head home, we share a wonderful hug. It seems to last for five minutes or more. We feel each other's peaceful energy... & finally... we share a gentle kiss.
WOW!!! What a GREAT first date!
Life is good!
P.S. For me, the activity is always secondary as my partner is ALWAYS primary! She is (& will always be) MORE IMPORTANT than the activity.
LoveHowTo Dating Analyst’s Take:
Jeff's is a classic in the "profiles in wordage" collection. He runs on and on, repeating himself several times (much talk about the “next level” and how his partner is always "primary"), throwing in clichés all along ("the hills are green and lush and the water beckons us to stop…"). He uses capital letters for EMPHASIS so often that the only thing emphasized is the reader’s annoyance. The cumulative effect is - Poor Jeff, he doesn’t know when to quit, either he was high when he wrote this or he is really desperate.
In any case he is not likely to snare anyone this way. Jeff and others like him would do much better if they put some thoughtfulness – and some time – into their profiles, perhaps even did a few drafts (on paper!) and then read those drafts a few times before writing the final one. They might also tell the reader what they do for a living. Jeff’s page-long rant gives us no idea. But what a person does matters, and since it’s going to come out the second you move to step two, why not put it up front.
Dating Analyst Tom Dichter is a cultural anthropologist and writer, married with four children and four grandchildren. He has had an international career and is now based in France.
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