Dating Services
Looking for the Right One — Dating Service, That Is
As with dating, you can play the field when it comes to dating services. There are more than 1,000 of them out there, and many that are right for you on at least some level. But you can't post your profile on 1,000 sites. Again, as with dating, you need to know what's important to you before you can narrow down and identify the right one to meet your needs.
At LoveHowTo we've profiled more than 150 sites in a variety of different categories to aid you in finding the right one (dating service) to help you find the right one (date).
Explore as many sites as you want before making a commitment. Virtually all allow you to create a profile and browse members for free. You can see the sites' features, even if you can't use all of them. But in most cases contact with someone who appeals to you requires paid membership. Some services allow "winks," "flirts," "smiles" or other prefab communications for free, but most don't allow you to send email or even to answer someone who writes you unless you're a paid subscriber.If you go the free route on a paid site you'll be bombarded with roadblock screens urging you to "Sign Up Now!" to access full profiles, see larger photos (is that a gap or spinach between her front teeth?) or otherwise participate more fully in the site. You can do a lot for free, but if you find a service that seems to have what you're looking for, you'll need to bite the bullet and pay. Go ahead, prove you're not afraid of commitment!
You can put your profile on multiple sites, but not too many. Try one free and one paid and see how it goes. Oh, and use a different picture on each one. Give a site a month to see if it works for you — is there new blood coming in all the time or is it the same old results from your searches? Did your emails get answers or just the sound of crickets? How much interest is your profile garnering? By the end of a month you'll know if it's worth renewing.
Sure it's cheaper to commit to a multi-month package. But you don't want to resent spending $50 when you could have gotten away with $20.
If you're a member of a "specialized" group that's important to you - whether racial, religious, sexual, physical or age-related, sign up for a specialized site. See our comprehensive Dating Directory for ideas and reviews.
By the way, rule number one when entering the online dating arena is to create a separate email address (Yahoo!, MSN, Gmail, etc.) specifically for your dating correspondence. Remember those "Sign Up Now!" screens? They also bombard you in email form. As do messages from lots of people you'd never want to meet and the occasional one you do. Keep them quarantined and your life will be a lot less stressful.
Keep in mind that many of the sites are run with the same "white label" underpinnings. In other words, there's a generic template that gets used by multiple brands. Personals at Nerve.com look exactly like those at TheOnion.com, and even feature the same people. (They're run by a company called FastCupid). TangoWire operates BBWdates.net and PlusSizePersonals.com - and they're the exact same site. CupidJunction and DreamMates also share everything but a name. Be sure you know when you sign up for a site exactly where your profile will appear.
With the exception of the free sites, almost every dating service operates the same way: register for free then get bombarded with urgings to upgrade - to "premium" and the inevitable "silver," "gold" and "platinum." Find a profile you like? Just try to send an email and you'll get the dreaded "Upgrade Now!" message.
There are some ways to work the system, but the best approach is to find the right site for you and just pay. Use the LoveHowTo Dating Directory to narrow in on the right site(s) for you. Register for free with a minimum of information, the browse around. Most likely one will stand out in the quality and/or quantity of your search results. You can always go back later and beef up your profile. Or, as the sites would tell you, "Upgrade Now!"
Oh, and if a site isn't for you, delete your profile. You'd be surprised how much interest even a barebones profile can generate - and not in a good way.
by Laura
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