Intimacy
Arranging a Hookup
So it's Saturday night – or any night – and you're home alone and feeling horny. Sure, you could spend your time watching internet porn and touching yourself in ways you wouldn't want your mother to know about. But you could also put the internet to work for you in a different way: finding an actual real live person to take over touching duties.
If you're at all web savvy you know about Craigslist (CL). It's a great way to find an apartment or sell a used refrigerator. Because it's all about instant gratification – want something? Just ask! – it's maybe the most efficient method around of arranging a hookup.
Here are step-by-step directions for finding the non-date of your dreams on Craigslist:
1. Go to your local Craigslist page. There's a local CL for every major metropolitan area, and many small ones too. (Only nine states don't have multiple CL cities. Cross your fingers you don't live in one or you might have to travel a while to meet your one-night-stand.)
2. Under the category "Personals" you'll see "Strictly Platonic" (skip that one) and then some variations on a theme, followed by "Misc Romance." One or more of these may look tempting to you, but you can come back to them later. You're looking for the mother lode: "Casual Encounters." Select it.
3. You'll see a warning and disclaimer page that you should pay some attention to, since what you're doing holds a certain amount of risk. Think about it: do you really want to meet a stranger and get naked with him/her? It's not too late to turn back.
4. If you continue, you'll notice this page also includes a long string of acronyms, starting with w4m, or woman for man. These are ads posted by men looking for women – to be specific, women who want to be with men (you can't assume anything on CL). The acronyms cover almost every possible man, woman and transgender combination.
5. Pick a category, any category.
6. Peruse the offerings. When there's a "Pic," prepare yourself: it will probably be graphic. Select someone who sounds appealing, and go on in.
7. Keep your wits about you and use common sense. Not everything is as it seems in Casual Encounters-land. Find your comfort level. Most ads are very specific: I'm looking for someone to come over and do this to me and then I will do that to you. NSA (no strings attached).
8. Follow your instincts but also play it safe: meet for the first time in a public place and gauge whether this is really someone you want to get dirty with. Follow the safety guidelines in People Are Strange When You're a Stranger. After that, what happens is up to you.
Not comfortable answering an ad? Prefer to control the situation a little more? Then run your own ad. That way you get to ask for what you want and evaluate whether those who respond are worthy.
Here's how:
1. Go to your local Craigslist page.
2. Select "Post to Classifieds," then "Personal/Romance" and make your selection from the next page. We'll assume it's "Sex With No Strings Attached" since you're reading this article.
3. Select your preferred partner(s) choice and click Continue. On the next page you may have to select a specific city or metropolitan area where you're looking.
4. Next comes the posting page. Here you give your ad a title and a description and a picture if you want. Some guidelines here:
- Be specific. Rarely in life do you have such an opportunity to ask for exactly what you want without judgment, so don't blow it (at least not yet…). In perusing the ads you've probably seen some of just a line or two. These aren't getting any response. Stand out. Describe your ideal scenario and who you'd like to share it with you.
- Give a vague idea of your location, although of course not your address. The Craigslist area in which you're posting could be vast and your prospective NSA lover wants to know if it's going to be a major commitment to get to you or just a brisk walk.
- Unless your body part is the best thing about you, don't post an extreme closeup of it. Give some context. It's not all about big, although certainly big doesn't hurt. (Well, sometimes…) It might be better just to offer a photo upon request.
- Don't make promises you can't keep. She'll be screaming for more? Are you sure? He's never had it done as well? Really? Better to sound a little humble ("I'm good, but I'll let you be the judge of that").
- Don't let on that you've done this before with a posting that describes everyone you don't want to hear from or complaints about how badly it went last time.
6. Similarly, expect to practice safe sex and that the stranger(s) who responds to your ad will too.
7. Be patient. It may not happen the first time. Life, the web, Craigslist, sexual fulfillment – it's all a great big crapshoot. Figure you'll have to work at it a little bit. The newest Craigslist ads are always on top (insert gratuitous pun), so if it's been a day since you posted, you probably won't be hearing from anyone else. If you've gotten responses that just creeped you out, figure out what they were seeing in the ad that you didn't realize was there. Now is when you find out how good you are at marketing.
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