LoveHowTo Blog
The Age Gap
I've been reading lots of profiles on dating sites lately. I do a search and I get results. I've specified what age I am, and they've specified what ages they are. So far so good: they're chosen to meet my age specifications. But what doesn't get calculated in my results are their age specifications.
I look for people both younger and older than I am, essentially in their 40s and early 50s. From perusing hundreds of profiles (I don't want to admit it's been thousands, even in the name of LoveHowTo research!), I can say with some confidence that men of that age do not have the same inclinations. Here are some real-world, typical, examples:
Age: 44
Seeking Women 27-36
Age: 48
Seeking Women: 35-37
Age: 50
Seeking Women 37-49 [just couldn't cross that psychological barrier to 50]
Age: 53
Seeking Women 38-48
Age: 54
Seeking Women 30-45
Yes, a few men actually seek, or say they are seeking, women up to and including their own ages. Fewer still include women 1-3 years older than they are. Virtually no man in his 40s or older is looking for a woman more than three years older than he is. This despite the fact that men of that age group tend to look significantly older than their female counterparts, what with the hair coloring (women) and balding (men).
With younger men, age ranges vary more widely:
Age: 26
Seeking Women 21-28
Age: 30
Seeking Women 20-30
Age: 31
Seeking Women 21-40
Age: 34
Seeking Women 25-40
Age: 37
Seeking Women 18-45 (wow, quite a spread!)
Of course, men in their 20s and 30s can afford to go older and still end up with women in their child-bearing years. But you can see from the second group above that some are pushing the envelope considering that not one man listed has had children yet and all but one "definitely" wants them. (The other is unsure, but he's only 26 so he's allowed to coast.) Many of the men in their 40s and 50s also still plan to have children, although most do have at least one already. A shockingly high number of men in this age group are "unsure" about whether they want children, but are keeping their options open by going for the much younger woman. Apparently they think Clint Eastwood and Donald Trump have the right idea: sire children who will be dealing with their dads' retirement and continence issues before they are even out of school.
Does that sound bitter? I hope not, because I'm anything but. My ex is with woman 25 years younger than he is, and she is welcome to him. Frankly, I think women in their 40s and older are worn out from having spent decades with older men. Having burned through this crowd, the older men must go younger, which is fine with them. And fine with us, too.
by Laura
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