LoveHowTo Blog
Divorce Mediation: The Musical
Our mediator says we’re his favorite couple. Yeah, you’re thinking, I’ll bet he says that to all the couples. Well, maybe so, but in our case I’m pretty sure he means it.
See, we spar only lightly and never lose sight of the bigger picture: we have a son together, as well as a shared history of mutual respect. Our son’s best interest trumps any anger we might feel at each other’s failings, and mutual respect leads to things like “each other’s” in this sentence rather than “my ex’s.” See how it works?
More importantly, we’re funny. That’s really what endears us to a man who’s had to remove sharp objects from his desk to ensure no stabbings occur unless weapons are brought in by Petitioner and/or Respondent. He thought he’d seen it all, but apparently he’d never seen anything like us: honest and caring to each other, yet unconflicted about divorcing. Oh, and quick-witted.
For example, in trying to determine how long he would have to work to fulfill support obligations, my soon-to-be-ex-husband asked the forensic accountant for the standard retirement age. He was told, “There really isn’t one. 62, 65, 70, 75…” My stbx put up his hand. “Where’s the mandatory age cap when you need it?”
OK, maybe he’s not quite ready for his own HBO special, but still. This kind of response makes ours better than many mediation sessions I’ve heard about. Considering that mediation is only supposed to be for people who are in general agreement over the big issues, mediators still deal with a lot of pain, hostility, duplicity and attempted vengeance. To work with a splitting couple who actually can laugh as they divide their assets in half is apparently enough of an anomaly that we stand out in the crowd.
Still, I’m sure that when he says, “I should be paying you guys!” he’s only kidding. He’s pretty funny, too.
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