Moving On

Mr. (or Ms.) Right Now

So you've just split from a long-time love and you're looking for someone new. You hop onto a dating site and post a profile, highlighting the features your ex somehow didn't appreciate. You spread the word among your friends: "I'm available. Oh, and I want someone the opposite of She- or He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."

It's understandable to feel it's time for a change. He was cheap and it always bugged you. She was never on time and it drove you crazy. You'll be happy to find someone tall after years with a shortie, a beach bunny rather than your former workaholic, or an intellectual instead of your long-time jock. But beware of over-compensating for traits you once found endearing and now see as character flaws.

After the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal, we rejected getting involved with another smart, left-leaning Southerner and elected a born-again Christian and faux-Southerner barely capable of finding his way to Washington. We know now that he wasn't right for us and we're looking forward to having someone smart and sexy in our lives again. Oh, let's not kid ourselves, we'll settle for smart.

After a major breakup, the temptation is to find your own version of the anti-ex. Consider Rick Salomon going from Paris Hilton, his sex tape co-star, to Shannon Doherty to Pamela Anderson…well, probably not the best example. But Anne Heche seemed too obvious. Just figure most halves of former couples are looking to join up with new halves who look and act completely different from the ones they're getting over.

And it's healthy to have a fling or two with a polar opposite. But don't be surprised if the big spender leaves you pining for Mr. Frugal, or Ms. Punctual ends up having to wait around for you. A long time together puts you in a comfort zone that can look awfully seductive after the discomfort of the unfamiliar. The rebound may be a 180-degree shift, but before too long you could very well find yourself going another 180 degrees — also known as coming full circle.

by Laura