The Quest

Secrets Revealed: How Men “Think”

First comes grasping the concept: Men think?

Yes, despite all signs to the contrary, they do, and sometimes even with the brain in their head, as opposed to the one in their pants.

Poor men. They're expected to have all the answers, to be big and strong and comforting, even when they're confused and scared. They don't get credit for being sensitive, when they feel just as intensely as women. They're accused of being callous simply because they don't necessarily equate sex with love.

What drives this misunderstood gender? Primal desires for attention and sex, not necessarily in that order. Men seek a feeling of self-worth that comes from the admiration of others, a recognition of their achievements, successes, masculinity. And with almost every fiber of their being they crave sex, evaluating virtually every woman they encounter as a potential bedmate, having to tamp down those legendary every-seven-seconds lustful thoughts. A hot admirer can turn a man into putty in her hands. Men are lucky so few women are aware of the power they could wield over them.

Why do women know so little about men and how they think? Well, that's pretty much the men's fault.

From toddler age, men become masters at hiding their feelings. They learn not to cry and how to act like they know everything. All this puts up a wall that girlfriends and wives spend a lifetime trying to break through.

Here are some little-known facts about men (and by "men" we mean most straight men) that could help "tear down that wall":

1. Men keep secrets because they think you won't like them if you know everything about them. Learn - and accept - a man's secrets and he will be yours forever.
2. Sometimes, albeit rarely, men feel fat. Of course, only the fat ones feel fat, and they don't let it bother them to much. Skinny men never feel fat.
3. Sometimes men feel guilty. OK, not often enough, but it does happen.
4. Men love having women in their lives, even if they don't express it. Billy Joel said it best: "You always have my unspoken passion / Although I might not seem to care." Sometimes men look at their women and can't believe how lucky they are. Then they keep their mouths shut about it.
5. Other times, men look at the women in their lives and feel suffocated and trapped. Let's not forget that the writer of "Just the Way You Are" dumped his wife and married Christie Brinkley, and is now with yet another woman, three decades younger than he. 
6. Men can be afraid to tell their women what they really want because they think it will freak them out, so they feel justified in turning to internet porn. Heck, they can justify anything. Bill Clinton isn't the only one who doesn't consider a blow job to be sex. Similarly, many men don't consider virtual sex to be cheating.
7. Men think they can get away with infidelity, that they are smarter than other cheaters who get caught. They also think that if they don't get caught it doesn't count. Of course, they're wrong on both counts.
8. Men think that sex is more important to them than it is to women. And they're right. You might even say that, for men, everything else is just filler.
9. Men are willing to sleep with women they consider only moderately unattractive, women they know they will never be willing to make a commitment to. News flash: they do it because they like sex, not because they want to hurt someone. Of course, if a woman gets hurt because her expectations are out of line with his intentions, well, that's not his fault. Or at least that's how he justifies it (see number 6: they can justify anything!).
10. Men often think with that other brain, making life-altering decisions on the basis of mind-blowing sex.
11. Men live in constant fear that they won't be able to get it up.

by Laura