The Quest
The One Who Got Away
A LoveHowTo analysis of the wedding announcements in The New York Times turned up a lot of reconnecting. There were couples who had pined for each other for years and ultimately tracked each other down, couples who were friends while married to others and finally found themselves single at the same time, couples who had previously noticed each other but had never spoken, couples who fell in love planning or attending their high school reunions.
The message? You may already have met your future partner.
It might be someone from elementary or junior high school, from high school or college, from work, organizations you belong to, or your neighborhood. It might be someone from any night out: at a sporting event, lecture, fundraiser or a party. It might be someone your parents tried to force on you decades ago that you rebuffed on principal.
Maybe it’s someone you once loved intensely: a first boyfriend or girlfriend, a failed romance. Maybe it's a former flirtation that fizzled then but could work now. Possibly it's someone you still feel a connection to, and think about from time to time, someone you Google and ask mutual friends about. Or it may be someone you run into after years who blindsides you: “I never noticed how beautiful she was!” or “Was he always so funny?” It may be the last person you would ever have considered as a mate, for reasons ranging from active dislike to complete lack of awareness.
The point is that you have met thousands of people in your life, people who share your interests, politics, friends and geographical location. Why couldn’t one of them be your soulmate – or at least a lover?
So how do you figure out who it is? And let the other person know? Well, of course that depends on the situation, but if you’ve met before surely you can meet again. Some ways:
- Think about the organizations and activities that mean the most to you, and who you’ve met through them.
- Get involved in planning any reunions that are relevant to you. Your alma mater(s), sure, but also organizations and even companies celebrate reunions, anniversaries and special events.
- Ask a mutual friend to plan a dinner or other event where you can further check out someone you think might be right. If appropriate, you could even plan this event yourself.
- If it’s a business acquaintance, find a reason to get together to discuss business. Make sure it’s not a transparent ploy, though. It's business first.
- If you met someone intriguing through church/temple or a charity, get more active. Volunteer to solicit other volunteers – including the one you’re interested in.
Naturally you will look your best whenever your next (planned) encounter occurs. You will be attentive to your intended and spend enough time talking to determine whether this is, in fact, someone you could be interested in “like that.” If not, you just move on. Whether your next lover is someone from the past, present or future might end up surprising you.
by Laura
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