Together

Office Romance: Advice from the Supply Closet

So you've broken the cardinal rule about not sh*tting where you eat. You're seeing someone who works where you do, or whose company does business with yours. You're part of a long line of office romancers, and to keep your relationship — and your career — healthy you'll need to follow some special rules.

If you've read "Find Your Love at Work, "you know that there's a great book that tells you how to meet someone at work: Office Mate: The Employee Handbook for Finding — and Managing — Romance on the Job by Stephanie Losee and Helaine Olen. Well, it also has some good advice for how to handle an office romance. For example:

• Don't conduct any part of it in the office. (This advice is frequently not followed: 23% of the workforce report having a tryst in their workplace. That doesn't mean you should.)
• No PDAs except BlackBerries and Treos.
• Don't fight in the office — not even a dirty look. You'll become distractions to each other.
• Don't arrive to work or leave together.
• Make sure you have more than the workplace in common. (Double-dating with non-colleague couples is one good way.)
• Keep up your office friendships after you've started dating someone.
• Choose after-hours venues where you're not likely to bump into colleagues
• Unlike typical relationships, be clear up front about what you're doing and where it might be going. After all, your career is at stake.
• Don't put anything in an email. This includes not only your company email, but personal.

Once an office romance goes public, things may feel different, but the same rules apply. If there's nothing for co-workers to find titillating — "Did you hear about the fight they had in the meeting?" "I saw him with his hand up her skirt behind the file cabinets" — interest in your relationship will fade and you'll go back to being professionals.

Of course, a bitter breakup, or even just a quiet breakup, will raise the distraction level again, and not just for your colleagues. Wondering if you'll run into your former lover in the lunchroom is a lot of pressure, and unique to office romancers, dorm dwellers and those who meet in the elevator of their apartment complex. Look at it this way: you have an extra incentive to keep an office romance alive so it doesn't adversely affect your job. Some may call that pressure, but those who have successfully navigated love in the workplace prefer to think of it as a home field advantage.

Do you have any experience with office romance? Share your story and advice.